last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You can't special order awesome
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
