me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
