the day after is always just damage control
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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