I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
