I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
