I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
