you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
