I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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