Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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