Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just want to make out with him forever
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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