Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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