even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
