Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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