This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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