What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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