i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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