Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
