Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
