...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
