O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The air taste purple.
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