just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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