He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
