I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
