yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
