So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
