A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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