I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
