Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
