How'd it feel making her break her religion?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
time to smoke my breakfast
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
