So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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