so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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