Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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