Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
