I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
they need to just BURY HIM!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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