New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
