Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
