do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
