she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
