At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
