I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
