Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
