I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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