fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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