You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
sex in a hospital.. check
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
