I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Come on in and take your pants off
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
