I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And the cops told us we were all naked.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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