I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
