All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dick very happy bro
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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