My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
