wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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