Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
