My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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