If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
