Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Drake has all the answers
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
