I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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